granule
(00503)
remember the cod
Daffydils for March
# Post PQT3 on 03-20-2022
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Remember the seventh day. Keep it holy. Try the fried cod.
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Now depending upon if you like to eat things with real legs or you're happy with unclean things that swim around in oversized toilets, you might want a nicens thick steak … but then again you might want a rectangle of breaded and fried cod.
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I can not help you with this decision — no body can … well, except for your own [body]. Spanky, I can't tell you whether or not you enjoy shoveling dead fishes down your throat! 🙄 But I would recommend that on the seventh day, after you've dressed right for the first time in too long and paid your respects to the L_rd, that you maybe have a good meal. I would also recommend that you try a cafeteria. The kind where you pretend you are imprisoned and shuffle down the line sideways, pushing your tray along the rounded rails — trying not to crowd the people on either side of you — while harried and sweaty people in less-than-spotless scrubs hand you your chow atop a sill of good old stainless steel that roofs panes of angled glass. Don't get excited! It isn't really prison so you get to pick what you want and there is plenty to choose from! Why, everything from salisbury "steak" to chicken stuff, liver & onions, and even bowls of fruit salad with banana chunks in it! I would also recommend that you find a cafeteria that has spacious, padded booths set amongst planters of brick or stone that provide luxurious plots of soil for real plants and even a few small trees! Yes, indoors!
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So, um, try the fried cod. It should be a perfect rectangle and if it ain't, well, maybe go somewhere else. Press the person slipping the spatula beneath your cod for extra-extra-extra sauce of the tartar. If they are stingy ask them for a small bowl of it and damn the costs! Spankerooni, I hope you can appreciate how much good advice I'm giving you for free. I'm spending time on you, Spankly; that's a nice compliment. Mashed potatoes and gravy and mac-n-cheese will pair so nicely with your little slab o' fish. (And if any body should ask you, "Got enough carbs there? Why not have a bowl of green beans instead?" Just nod your head a couple of times and let it go. I mean, The Cafeteria ain't exactly The Temple of the Organic Workout. They're there, too. So while they are pointing at your taters, they've got three fingers pointed right back at themselves! It is enough.) Grab a cold hunk of chocolate pudding pie. And please, Spank, drink iced tea instead of your usual half-gallon of sugar and fizz. Unless strawberry soda is on offer. As you approach the register, don't forget to tong a pile of lemon quarters atop your cod. You're gonna need those. Trust me.
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When you get ready to tear into that cod, I would recommend that you first take a moment … breathe from your belly … then do the following things in a following order: 1) Squeeze those lemons out all over that cod until your hands tremble and people start to put that side-eye on ya [☝ Spank-o-mine, listen, if someone should up the side-eye to full on stopped eating and stare down at your lemony activities on that cod and roll their lips inside and scrunch their eyebrows like a fvk-wording muppet character, Spank, do not allow annoyance to pollute your meal — the person simply doesn't know and you should always endeavor to let slide things arising from lack of knowing] ; 2) Salt it so that the salt dusts that cod like frost and watch the salt stick and dissolve into the lemony-moist breading; 3) Fork tartar sauce all over the thing and smear that around real good. Pretend you are a fiend for icing and you're alone icing a cake with no body else around to tell you how to do it. There, you have created a layered defense against any disgusting fish taste that might have grossed-out your tastebuds.
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Lurve that fried cod!
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3 steps to oral heaven. Spankenstein, how often do you get a deal like that? There may be no well-defined frequency, but I bet it tends towards never. Don't be embarrased to tuck your napkin into your collar. With all that tartar sauce you slathered on there, sloppiness is almost certain to happen. (Yes, even if you try to be extra careful.) After the meal, with your belly stuffed with an appropriately prepared lil' slab o' cod, mashed potatoes and gravy, mac-n-cheese, tea or strawberries soda, and chilled chocolate pudding pie (jiggles like jelly on the fork for its ride to your chew hole) that has cleansed your thoroughly abused oral cavity … relax … but try not to fall asleep if you are driving and it is sunny out and the insides of the car are as warm as fresh-baked bread.
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