… but what you simply must understand is that I experienced significant trepidation against these beets. Do you have a minute? May I explain? Thank you!

I have never in my life eaten a beet, just leave it right alone to even think of a pickled beet! I don't look forward to eating new things. Actually, I'm against even the idea of it. So, this responsibility I assumed, to eat the pickled beets of a friend, well . . .

Spanky, please! I'm trying to tell you a story in earnest! And there you sit, half out of your mind, just chucking sticky swerveballs at it! What's that you say? . . . Spanky, I am not angry; I'm frustrated. . . . but I can't control how you see it, Spanky-Superior!

The point of the whole thing is that it wasn't like I was sitting around drooling on my g_dforsaken neck and wishing that I had a bunch of pickled beets to munch on. As a matter of fact, just the thought of pickled beets not only shut down my digestive system, but also kinda pissed me off! And yet . . .

I forked up a good-sized chunk of that pickled beet, and, know what? IT WAS REALLY, REALLY GOOD!! What's that you say? . . . Good L_rd, Spankster, I never claimed to be a g-damned pickled beets expert . . . but, you're right; so let me recant and say: I REALLY, REALLY ENJOYED IT!!!!!