archive summer 2021
31 aug 21 … 16 aug 21
Gladiolus for August
c:
Ever visit a frenzied tea garden?
Gosh, you need to relax.
(Have a big one, why doancha!)
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# Tue ↔ 31 Aug 2021 12:20:47 🙌 // DWUE
🤩 Inside of every totalitarian whackjob there is a leftist lunatic dying to get out. 🤑
48166~8432~22392
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# Tue 🏙 31 Aug 2021 05:03:12 💇♀️ // H4X7
Oh, Great Spirit!
Thank you for making me a human bean
So that I might behold such beauty!
Well, that I might behold stuff . . .!
Or . . . whatever!
51815~3460~12666
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# 👻 The Holy Ghost 👻 QZY2
can't stop to chat
kinda bizzy
but does offer a solid
"Hiya!"
333 % IS is % 333
—
little ghostie don't mess with spacetime
like briefs, it finds them confining
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— 👽 —
# Mon 🌗 30 aug 2021 22:02:07 🐜 // D347
These ant traps inadequate to task.
Displeased with ant traps.
I shan't brand-shame manufacturer.
You've heard of not so good ant traps, though.
75350~5129~74909
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[[ 30 Aug 2021 ]] # CTEL
man, oh maaaaaaan. c'mon man, c'mon . . .
the time is now: 17:30
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[[ 30 Aug 2021 ]] # ECAQ
settle down — it's ok . . .
the time is now: 15:32
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— 🛸 —
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— 👨🌾 —
# Mon 🐪 30 Aug 2021 10:39:21 👵 // F4PZ
Science-the-methodology has instantiated in human form because it needed a mouth so it could straight talk world+dog:
Though cow farts are flat-out climactic killers, it turns out that camel farts are even worse. How much worse? Much worse. What? Sure, camels pee on their legs but what's that got to do with the price of semiconductors in Taiwan? Yes, yes, old lady farts (especially the ones that sound like a foghorn) are the absolute worst, but, damnit Spanky, this ain't a smelling weird problem — it's a planetary problem. No one can hear you smell in space. 🌎🙅♂️👃
And besides: there's no law (yet) against old ladies grinding out a rank fart or two. Look, get with Science or perish. Spanky — listen to me, now — you don't gotta like it. 😒 Sweet Lord, little help over here? Please?
77484~5843~99297
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# Mon ⛳ 30 Aug 2021 08:52:53 🤔 // ZXQD
🐪 & 🐻 wav 🙋♂️ - 🙋♀️ 2 🛢💲 ❔
Vlad and Khalid "the fresher prince" bin Salman
sitting in a tree, k-i-c-k-I-N-G
the petrosmacker in the goodie section?
unlike Smuckers, that just can't be good.
🐤 tweeter 🐤
48012~2339~62582
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#
29 Aug 2021 20:30:46 // WRCV
(Hurricane Ida)
🙏
4️⃣
the people of Louisiana
🌊
you know you oughta, spanky
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— 🌀 —
# > > 29 Aug 2021 19:56:08 // H3ME < <
🛑 Just stop using sex as a weapon ⚔
Can ya do that for me? Please?
Thanks.
Good grief. 🙄
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— 🏹 —
#
29 Aug 2021 16:57:38 // 3U4L
🤪 😜 🥴😵 😜 🤪
V19
Every 5 months?
🤣
Try 3-4
At least . . . time will tell . . . 💉
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— 🌼 —
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— 🚘 —
~ # 4DBR ~
☣
Emergency Sh*t-Post System ☣
Change
Climate Change
Now
If you love me,
please stop farting on me.
Thank you,
The Godforsaken Earth
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— 🌎 —
# Sun 🥔 29 Aug 2021 12:49:50 🍳 // mgtn
🎵 Taters & Eggs, I said, Taters & Eggs . . .
How can we measure their worth?
By the plea-sure with which
They slather the Earth 🎵
The tune ya want here is Silver & Gold
by the original xmas music beast
as crooned by that Burl Icle Ivanhoe Ives
[zounds, what a name!]
in that Rudolph Show
"A videoCraft TV Musical Spectacular from DECCA"
73651~5018~45763
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— 🍀 —
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— 🤖 —
- 🧛♂️ do ya like shakes?
- 🧜♀️ like from a g-damned jimmy leg?
- 🧛♂️ no, the cold, frosty ones
- 🧜♀️ oh. yeah, i like those
- 🧛♂️ ya like strawberry ones?
- 🧜♀️ they're ok, I guess
- 🧛♂️ well, uh, chocolatey ones?
- 🧜♀️ those ones are good
- 🧛♂️ how 'bout with high-grade organic pro —
- 🧜♀️ say! where's this goin' anyhow?
- 💥
- 🧜♀️ that's what i thought 🙄
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— ✨ —
#
28 Aug 2021 16:56:57 // F4M8
— let it happen
best of the good and worst of the bad
dig it if you can
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— ✨ —
#
28 Aug 2021 16:39:12 ❓ VE8G
Consent or be ravaged!
Ha - Grrrrrr - Ha
Discuss
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# Sat 📻 28 Aug 2021 13:35:18 💤 // YQ7B
Didja ever have the opportunity to doze on the sofa while half-listening to the adults talking in the other room?
Best
Radio
Ever
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# Sat 😫 28 Aug 2021 12:56:25 🌾 // XKGL
I got fed up with
the squat & howl
now I eat rye bread and easily
move my bowels
☝ I am not a poop doctor. Your commodal experience may (and probably will) vary. A lot.
11592~9955~78321xoSSxo archive
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#
27 Aug 2021 23:20:43 ❓ DM7S
Hey, what's the big idea?
Discuss
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# Fri 🌖 27 Aug 2021 23:08:35 👃 // 8K54
38950~8465~72507
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# PK8Q - I might be awhile forgone . . . it's ok . . .
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#
26 Aug 2021 23:40:52 // F5PR
what?
no, c'mon now
what?
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#
26 Aug 2021 19:39:38 // MKWH
— @#$%&* —
Love like ya imagine ya oughta luv
Cheat like there ain't nobody lookin'
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#
26 Aug 2021 18:13:30 // UVS4
For the 💝 of that good Pete,
There's no need to crap on it.
Now, please fetch me a new Fresca
This one's no longer cold.
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#
26 Aug 2021 18:02:43 ❓ FE9Y
Is a hard sell an assault?
Discuss
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#
Tue 24 Aug 2021 20:43:39 - FRJ4
(V19)
whoa, Whoa, WHOA
let's first get in the car
then we can decide
where we wanna go
tell me i'm wrong, spanky
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# 26 Aug 2021 15:46:17 // RL58 — Why, um, no . . . well, I mean, not really . . . that is, probably not. Why do you ask?
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# > > 25 Aug 2021 10:07:33 // 3FWZ < <
you know what really puts the wind up my shorts?
When people don't watch where they're going 😠
Buddy, that just really burns my butter‼
🗯 Walk like ya got a purpose!
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#
Wed 25 Aug 2021 06:54:27 // UWXT
o----+----o
Fast Breaking
(brekferst of kangs)
Cottage Cheese & Pun'kin Seeds
Take a picture, it'll last longer! 🤨
Jeez . . .
10 15 05~06 15 25~08 09
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#
Wed 25 Aug 2021 00:58:20 // B65C
🥀 🌺 🥀
There are those who call me . . .
HAMBONE MALONE
(betcha didn't know that!)
(why do you claim you knew that? 🤦♀️)
70966~8580~72045
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# Tue 🌞 24 Aug 2021 14:28:54 🤷♂️ // R56E
10 15 05~06 15 25~08 09
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# > > 24 Aug 2021 12:14:11 // ZB7W < <
😌 P 💩O 💩O 💩P 😌
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#
Tue 24 Aug 2021 20:43:39 8CVZ
(WDS.2)
Q: Wutchadoin?
A: Calling Roid-Busters, Manganese!
(I ain't 'fraid o' no roids)
(I ain't 'fraid o' no roids)
Yeah, right! I bet you are, too.
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#
Tue 24 Aug 2021 11:38:10 // Y9PF
💦 💦 🦚 💦 💦
Should I be concerned that my stream* isn't as powerful as it once was?
------------
* and by stream I mean urine.
(You know — [🤫 whispery now] pee)
15171~6378~22811
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# Tue ⚓ 24 Aug 2021 10:15:39 🥔 // V8HL
We heard from the crow's nest
our matey bellow:
TATERS AHOY!
58393~9038~64013
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# S2JV - jes' 'tween you, me and the fencepost, well . . .
see the thing is, Freddy, ol' pal . . .
it's like this: my butt is itchy and it's
driving me crazy as a betsy-bug.
i'm sorry but that's just how it is.
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#
Sat 🙄 21 Aug 2021 23:46:25 // 9KQ4
O=-=-=-=-=-=O
(Crap in Your Hat)
((Just like that))
> All this war and hatred and suffering and folks allways on the look-see-out for how to screw each other the worst . . .
> Listen up, Spanky, I can tell you what's the matter. Would you like to know how to Mr. Fixit?
] Yes. Yes I would.
> Meybe L8R. I don't feel like it now.
] When then?
> Ain't no when. NOW's all there is — EVAH. Manganese.
] OH, MAMMA! 😱
Wheeeee!um-oh-sh*t-coff/coff/coff
57702~6629~24329
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#
Sat 21 Aug 2021 19:13:40 // 2JHB
◾◽◽◽◽◾◽◽◽◽◾
(Bummzies)
This a PG-13 show.
17815~1432~45089
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# Sat 🌞 21 Aug 2021 18:13:16 🌻 // BYT8
I call it 🔥 Char Dog 🔥
💥 You call it delicious
Don't deny it
Why are you denying it?! 🤦♂️
94117~4004~54202
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# Sat 👁 21 Aug 2021 06:37:19 🌄 // L3MH
⬆ all night
mouth dry as
dried-out dirt
61349~6077~14512
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# Sat ✌ 21 Aug 2021 06:18:13 🌄 // 5D69
🎵 I'm workin' on muh night moves. 🎵
14277~4430~94153
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# Sat 🌞 21 Aug 2021 00:12:27 🌃 // XE94
Instead of striving to win,
try striving to Strive
18056~3757~27001
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# Fri 🌔 20 Aug 2021 15:09:35 🌤 // YLQV
Havunt seen you around.
Lil' ol' Me? I'm Hundo-P,
Fit 'n' blessed 'n' sound:
I gave my Lyfe to Jesus Chryst
and lost a hunert pounds!
\😃/
42524~8058~48617
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# Fri 🌔 20 Aug 2021 02:29:53 🌤 // 9HL6
Force It
by
U F O
is a gooood album
24983~1341~45148
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# Fri 🌔 20 Aug 2021 00:42:55 🌤 // M9UJ
Why was Chuck Bronson
so heckin' awesome?
84701~2381~17241
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# Thu 🌔 19 Aug 2021 22:58:11 🤷♂️ // 2W81
I got an e-mail
And it was from a fe-male!
60180~9355~40914
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~ # 2B3S ~
This is a test of the Emergency Sh*t-Post System.
In the event of an actual emergency, actual sh*t
would have been sh*t-posted. Thank you.
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# Thu 🌔 19 Aug 2021 19:15:25 🤷♂️ // W62U
Each day write down what you accomplished
If you accomplished nothing, write that down
That way U accomplished writing down
that nothing was accomplished -- still counts!
71575~2731~43941
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# Thu 🌔 19 Aug 2021 18:40:19 🤷 // 91H0
💩 Crap on a stick!
🦵
69175~9687~62972
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# Wed 18 Aug 2021 21:11:17 - H0FR
(WDS.1)
Q: Wutchadoin?
A: Eatin' toaster fries, defragging my hard disk . . .
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# Tue 🌔 17 Aug 2021 00:02:17 🤷 // ZT50
~ Because it happened to me! ~
What do ya call it when you eat
like a dozen Heath candy bars?
A Big, Fat Pig-Out! 🐷
19882~9128~40368
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# Mon 🌔 16 Aug 2021 22:16:22 🤷 // J6B1
the dragonfly that mistook the bluish green color of my car's hood for cool, algae-rich water
°
{ more }
45364~6452~89274
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